Saturday, December 30, 2006

the Wheel of Fortune

Hi paui

What goes up must come down - we all know and understand
this, yet when we are down, feeling low or unhappy, it can
be so hard to believe life will ever get better!

THIS WEEK'S CARD: THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE

Sometimes we experience good luck and good fortune
unexpectedly, and when we do, oh how joyful and exciting it
is! Getting a phone call out of the blue from the person
you’ve fancied for ages asking you out on a date, winning
some money, getting an unexpected promotion and pay rise at
work, friends and family throwing you a surprise party –
all these experiences or surprises make us feel on top of
the world.

Conversely, when you hear through a friend that your lover
is seeing someone else, your bank surprisingly turns down
your request for a loan, your boss unexpectedly announces
you’re going to be laid off or you lose a loved one – these
experiences and shocks can leave us emotionally devastated,
feeling as though the world is somehow against us.

The Wheel of Fortune represents such unexpected turns of
fate and fortune. Sometimes the wheel will turn in your
favor and bring unexpected good luck and fortune, sometimes
it will turn against you and you will experience bad luck
and misfortune. However, the wheel suggests that these
turns of fortune are beyond your control, they are part of
the eternal movement and cycle of life.

When the Wheel of Fortune appears in your readings you can
expect an unexpected change in your fortune … so if you
have been experiencing a run of bad luck or misfortune and
the Wheel of Fortune lays in your near future, then the
cards are suggesting that it won’t be long before fate will
come into play and your luck will start to change.
Conversely, in the situation where the Wheel of Fortune is
ahead and things have been going great for you up to now,
read it as a warning that something unexpected may throw a
spanner in the works and bring a challenging time.

The appearance of this card in answer to a question about
what you should do about something or someone, can suggest
that, whatever you do, fate will determine the outcome.
However, if surrounding cards are negative, it could be a
warning that making the wrong choice could backfire on you.

Life has its ups and downs, and understanding and accepting
this helps us to hold a more realistic view of life itself.
Remember that the wheel turns up, just as surely as it
turns down ... it’s just the eternal and constant rhythm and
cycle of life.

Love and Joy,
Alison


>>>> for the past weeks i've been experiencing "not-so-good" stuff in my life.. well i guess this might be a sign that somehow, things will be better... (i hope so..) i'm better now, better than i was 2 weeks ago... i just hope that things will get better and that soon ill be over... thanks to my friends who are always there for me, ready to rescue me whenever i feel like i'm drowning... i hope that this year will be better than last year(not that i'm saying last year was not good... in fact last year was one of the most wonderful years of my life...) ...i've learned lotsa stuff that i know i can use in order to be a better person...goodluck to me!

Friday, December 29, 2006

bite me!

there are times in our lives that we become vulnerable... we seek the comfort of other people who we think is much stronger and who you trust yourself with... its true when they say that you shouldnt judge a book by its cover, you can never be really sure who to trust and who to be careful of...

when were vulnerable, its easy for people to penetrate our barriers and reach our weaknesses. sometimes they are careful but most of the time people take advantage... they use you weakness against to so that you can fall into thier traps...

whats sad about this is that you're already so low... and people take advantage of you that you'll end up getting more hurt and used... i know i shouldnt really be trusting people that easily.... i should really be more careful... specially now that i am in my weakest point.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

this never happened before

This Never Happened Before Lyrics


i'm very sure
this never happened to me before
i met you and now i'm sure
this never happened before

now i see
this is the way it's supposed to be
i met you and now i see
this is the way it should be

this is the way it should be for lovers
they shouldn't go it alone
it's not so good when you're on your own

so come to me
now we can be what we wanna be
i love you and now i see
this is the way it should be

this is the way it should be

this is the way it should be for lovers
they shouldn't go it alone
it's not so good when you're on your own

i'm very sure
this never happened to me before
i met you and now i'm sure
this never happened before (this never happened before)
this never happened before (this never happened)
this never happened before (this never happened before)

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

good ol' self!

this is probably the worst christmas of my entire life... ive been such a fool! well i just wanted to blog this because when i'm over everything, i want to read this particular blog and laugh at myself for being the most stupid person in this whole wide world!


ive been pretty much stupid a lot of times already but never in my life i felt this stupid! gawd! most of the times i rely on the goodness of other people, but boyyyyyyy you can never really judge a person by his cover! most of the goodness that you see in these people are just skin deep! oh well, what can i do? life is so full of bumps and black holes.


as much as i would want to regret everything that happened, i cant! somehow those experiences made me stronger and wiser (i guess).. i just dont want to fall into the same trap.. in a way, i am much wiser than before...than last year... yes, there is still some bitterness left inside me but pretty much dont want to dwell on that because i dont want to ruin the coming year. i dont want it to come to a bad start. i just want to live again... to be normal and to be happy.


here's the happy issue again... i dont want people to think that i'm not happy, i am actually! there's just certain aspects in my life right now that doesnt make me happy. but really, generally i am happy! i have lots of friends that are always there for me, i have dogs who will always be happy to see me, we have a house in boracay where i could always go to for refuge, relaxation and some pretty darn good time (hehehe...) , i have a nice job with a good salary, i travel a lot, i am SINGLE! and best of all god loves me! (i love you too!)


now..... i'm back to my good ol' self!

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

THE HIGH PRIESTESS

Hi paui

Our divine feminine, the goddess within ... we all have the
ability to know her, whether you’re male or female, this
‘intuition’ or ‘psychic awareness’ within is omnipresent, a
‘universal knowing’ if you like.

THIS WEEK'S CARD: THE HIGH PRIESTESS

When was the last time you went against your intuition or
gut feelings just to hear yourself say ‘I knew I shouldn’t
have done that, I somehow knew it wouldn’t work out’? >>> OH MY GOSHHH!

This gut instinct, intuition or 6th sense, whatever you
want to call it, is our spirit, our subconscious or what I
like to call our ‘authentic’ self speaking to us. >>>>> haiz! i should have listened

The High Priestess card represents this very intuitive
guide we all have within ourselves, and we can always call
upon her provided we have the courage to listen to her.

So often we take what appears to be the easy option, or we
remain in our comfort zone, only to later realize the
illusion. For example, have you ever stayed in an abusive
or unfulfilling relationship, despite your ‘intuition’
telling you that you are unhappy and should leave, just to
avoid being on your own? >> hmmmmmmm???

Have you remained in a dead end job that brings no
satisfaction and a poor income, despite your ‘intuition’
telling you that you could do so much better for yourself
if you could find the courage to leave?

Fear of the unknown, fear of rejection and fear of
loneliness are, for me, the three greatest reasons why we
choose to be deaf or ignorant to our intuitive guide, and
wind up staying in relationships, jobs and situations that
we are far from happy with.

When this magical and enigmatic card appears in your
reading, ask yourself ‘what is the secret to finding the
happiness I seek?’
For The High Priestess is the keeper of
secrets, your secrets, and the greatest irony is that you
are the only one who can know the secrets she has to share
with you.

You must develop the ability to silence the noise of your
conscious fears, and allow your mind to be still and silent
enough for your intuitive guide or High Priestess to
communicate with you. Thus she will reveal the secret to
your own happiness.

The more you learn to trust your intuitive guide, the more
aligned you will become with your ‘true’ desires and your
‘true’ self. For example, if the quiet voice in your head
is telling you that starting an affair with your boss is
not a good idea, it may be wise to listen to it!

If that voice grows ever louder and more persistent about
something you are doing or considering, see it as your own
High Priestess imploring you to listen ... you need to pay
attention!

So, when The High Priestess appears in your readings, it’s
time to ask yourself how you really feel and think about
the issue or situation? Your conscious self must learn to
trust your intuitive self.
>>>>> i really should! tsk!

Love and Joy,
Alison

Sunday, December 17, 2006

the WORLD

Hi paui

What would mean the world to you?

Perhaps having a wonderful, rewarding, loving relationship?
Achieving financial success and recognition in your work?
Having a child you have longed for?

THIS WEEK'S CARD: THE WORLD

Whatever your dreams or ambitions, The World card can
herald the arrival of your heart’s desire - a time of
completion and fulfillment.


This is an especially wonderful card to have as an outcome
card, if preceded by other positive cards.

It is a card of triumph, recognition for all your hard work
and effort, or reward after a period of struggle and
challenge.

Respect and recognition is associated with the appearance
of this card, as it suggests that many people around you,
feel you deserve the happiness and joy the card represents.

The World card can also mean that the world is your oyster,
so it often represents travel, or suggests you broaden your
horizons if you are to acquire your heart’s desire.


This is such a positive card, that even the negative
aspect, normally indicated by preceded cards being less
positive or cards of challenge, simply means a period of
delay before the success you desire becomes manifest.

Are you living in the life you want, or do you desire to
step out into the ‘big wide world’ and seek adventure? >>>> yes yes yes!

The World IS your oyster, so when you see this card in your
readings, remember to keep your heart and mind open to
greater possibilities. >>> super!

Love and Joy,
Alison

Friday, December 15, 2006

the Moon

Hi paui

It has long been said that the full Moon has a powerful
effect on our emotional state, creating tides of
emotions within us.

THIS WEEK'S CARD: THE MOON



When we experience such turbulent emotions, it is difficult
to believe that we could ever feel harmony and peace within
ourselves again.

Highly charged feelings cause havoc in our lives, and when
The Moon appears in your readings, you can be sure there are
issues in your life that are causing confusion and mixed
emotions.

When this card appears, it is suggesting you take a step
back and view your situation from a different perspective
and with a calmer logic.

However, The Moon does represent powerful feelings and it
isn’t always easy to gain clarity: we often can’t ‘see the
wood for the trees’. The path to clarity and understanding
is a challenging one, yet despite the emotional wrenches
you may feel, it is right for you.

For example, if you are in a situation where you need to
let go of a lover or partner for whatever reason, but
emotionally cannot summon up the courage to do so, even
though you know it’s the right thing to do, trust that the
new path you seek is right for you.

Often when a decision is very difficult and causes strong
emotional resistance within us, we allow our weaker nature
to rule. However, in many of these situations it is a brave
heart and clear mind that help us see through the fog of
unruly emotion and step onto our true path.

The Moon not only represents illusion caused by powerful
emotions, but also illusion or trickery created by other
people’s lies or misleading behavior. Therefore, when The
Moon appears in a reading, it’s a good idea to question
your motives and those of people close to you, and it is
best to refrain from making firm decisions until you know
and feel a sense of certainty about your choices.

The wan light of The Moon does in some way shed light upon
the right path for us, but because we cannot see clearly
in dim light we doubt ourselves and hold back from taking
the steps forward.

The Moon may suggest that your avoidance to take action or
make a tough decision about a certain situation is simply
due to fear of loss. Fear has much to do with The Moon, and
courage is always needed to conquer fear, so take your time
when The Moon appears in your readings and search for your
inner courage. With patience you will find the clarity you
seek.

Love and Joy,
Alison

Thursday, December 07, 2006

red red wine...

yeah... i am having a hard time here... work is soooo exhausting... but then again nothing can beat red wine after work... ive been drinkning every night since i got here... its okay... i need it to relax, to relieve the stress and to be able to sleep at night...

just yesterday there was a friction between my co models and the other chinese people who were working with us.. that was my first workers quarrel. heheeh! its was a different experience seeing girls who dont actually understand each other fighting... haiz... everyday people get more and more complicated and things heat up as work gets longer... well thats a part of the job they say...

i just finished talking to my mom... she was very happy to hear my voice and to see me on the webcam... we talked about my stay here, my job and the dogs (ooooh i miss them) she told me that she missed me so much (and i do miss her too....) i was also able to chat with other people... i know i am supposed to be happy... but no... it made me really sad. good thing i'm far away and i have no choice but to move on and do what i am supposed to do here... ill just have to resort to red wine when i get home...

soon i'll be back in manila... i think its going to be harder once i'm back. i'm going to apply for another job in duabi and hopefully i'll be able to get in... that is going to be another challenge for me, another new life and another adventure... so far my adventure here is not yet finished...

til the next composition....

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

the Fool

Hi paui

The Fool represents a free spirit with a lust for life,
knowledge, and adventure, who has little fear of taking
risks. Does this sound like your card?

THIS WEEK'S CARD: THE FOOL

Innocence and naivety are associated with The Fool,
for the young have no fear of new experiences or change.

As you grow older you can lose that childish innocence and
enthusiasm, and can become fearful and cynical of change
and new experiences.

The mind of The Fool is always open, an empty vessel
eagerly waiting to be filled with new knowledge. Any
experience, pleasant or challenging, is life knowledge that
he accepts as part of his learning.

The Fool does not sit on the fence waiting for life to come
to him; he always takes the first step himself. The Fool
does not analyze all the possible risks of a new adventure;
he learns as he goes along.

The fearlessness and sheer enthusiasm associated with The
Fool makes for quite a maverick character, and often this
card can signify such a person, male or female, may step
into your life.

It is your attitude that influences the choices and
decisions you make, and often your mind is so full of doubt
and fear that you become closed-minded to the possibilities
of change.

When The Fool appears, ask yourself how open-minded you are
being at that moment in time, how enthusiastic are you
about life, and do you desire new experiences and
excitement but fear taking that first step?


Any journey starts with the first step, and motivating
yourself to take it is the hardest part. The Fool
encourages you to discover your inner child and harness
that youthful enthusiasm to help you on your way to a new
life and future.

A time to exercise caution is when The Fool comes up as the
first card in a reading for you. You may want to question
your motives or judgment, since as this is the first card,
it can indicate folly. Perhaps you are motivated for the
wrong reasons, so look before you leap.

You will have to deal with many twists and turns, paths and
crossroads on your life journey and The Fool can help as a
sign post when you need to take a new path.

Love and Joy,
Alison


yeah........... this is soooooo true. i dont actually believe in this kind of stuff but as i read on to her weekly readings i cant help but wonder how those cards or those readings relate to what is happening to me. golly! well i still dont believe it but i will let those cards guide me through my journey...

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

new life... new place

yeah... i've been in here in macau for 5 days now... work is very tiring but fun! good thing i'm with friends so i'm not really lonely here. its like i'm still in the philippines just doing shows. i'm having a blast here but my body is not... its so hard to adjust to the weather coz its so cold... i am sick but i'm generally okay... i used to have doubts before going here but now i think i am going to like it here. i still have 10 more days to go before i finally decide if i should stay of should i go... wish me luck....

new life... new place

yeah... i've been in here in macau for 5 days now... work is very tiring but fun! good thing i'm with friends so i'm not really lonely here. its like i'm still in the philippines just doing shows. i'm having a blast here but my body is not... its so hard to adjust to the weather coz its so cold... i am sick but i'm generally okay... i used to have doubts before going here but now i think i am going to like it here. i still have 10 more days to go before i finally decide if i should stay of should i go... wish me luck....

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

destiny...

i guess destiny finds its own way of changing your life.... i've been praying for enlightenment.... and because i am blessed i got my answer almost instantly... yeah of course i got shocked but then like i said "destiny finds its own way of changing your life".... so here i am... hurt and weak... struggling to walk on my own feet... wobbling because this is actually the first time that i am going to learn how to walk on my own... scared? hell yeah!... but what can i do? i wont be able to go places unless i know to walk on my own...

for the past 6 years i've been walking on the ramp and yet i am not sure if i can walk through the path of life...ampness! i dont know... i'm so lost! dang! i'm not thinking properly... actually, i wasnt thinking at all... well what's new? here i am again... swimming across an ocean without knowing where to go... tsk... soup!
m sleepy... tired and my head hurts a lot but i cant sleep... i'm so stressed out... i'm leaving...soon

Thursday, November 23, 2006

back from the paradise.....

work again! just got back from boracay yesterday... went straight to work and after writing this blog i'll be fixing my stuff so i can go to work again...

Ponds launched thier newest product... we were there to witness how thier new product would change the lives of ageing people out there... there are lots of beauty products out in the market right now it wouldnt hurt trying this product (specially when its free... hehe!) there were celebs and personalities who attended the event and we had so much fun mingling with the people and drinking rosseti! :D

here are some of our pictures from last night...
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ponds girls... charmaine, me & eve

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me with my good friend rei

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us girls with rei

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

JUDGEMENT

Hi paui

There are times in our lives when we must accept inevitable
change and allow things to come to a natural end.

THIS WEEK'S CARD: JUDGEMENT


The Judgment card is often referred to as a time of
resurrection and awakening, a time when a phase or period
of our life comes to an absolute end making way for dynamic
new beginnings.

It may be that a long-term relationship or marriage has had
its time and whilst it may feel painful to accept this
finality, the Judgment card is saying try and accept that
this is a time of fast-moving, positive change and action
for you.

Whether it’s the end of a career, a time when your children
have flown the nest, or a turn of events that make you wish
your life was different, this card represents karmic change
and it indicates that bigger and better things are yet to
come into your life.

Quite often, fantastic events and opportunities follow sad
and difficult challenges and this card can represent any
events that may feel like ‘Judgment Day’ has come. Changes
that may be indicated upon the appearance of this card can
be significant, so this would not be a time for regret and
fear but a time for courage and rejoicing in what you have
achieved and what you are yet to achieve.

Your life may well pick up a pace when this card appears,
so whatever future possibilities are indicated in your
reading, these events may happen quite quickly.

If the Judgment card comes up in a reading about legal
issues, it is a positive sign that any ruling will be in
your favor. However, if this card is surrounded by negative
cards, it may indicate legal battles ahead and the
possibility of having a ruling made against you

In general readings, if this card is surrounded by negative
cards, it could be that the swift conclusions foretold by
the positive aspect of this card may be delayed. This can
mean that you are fearful of such significant change and
may be ignoring opportunities that may well promise a
brighter future.

I also feel that when this card comes up, it’s important to
use your own judgment wisely and not to judge yourself too
harshly. It is a signal for you to open your heart and mind
to accept that all things come to an end and nothing lasts
forever, yet for each ending there is always a new
beginning.

Embrace such significant and inevitable change and a whole
new world of opportunity can unfold for you – the Judgment
card is a calling for you to be all that you can be.

Love and Joy,
Alison

Monday, November 13, 2006

DEATH/TRANSFORMATION

Hi paui

The Death Card has to be the one card in the Tarot deck that most,
if not all, people fear seeing in a reading, and yet it isn’t
as dark and macabre as one might think, which is why some
Tarot readers have renamed this card ‘Transformation’.

THIS WEEK'S CARD: DEATH/TRANSFORMATION

How would you feel if I was to say ‘Oh look, you are about
to experience a transformation in your life’? Would you be
as spooked as if you simply saw the Death card as your
outcome card?

I am in the process of creating the Lotus Tarot deck and I
will be naming this card ‘Transformation’ because I believe
it portrays the true meaning of this card far better and
without evoking the chills that the title ‘Death’ card does.

When the ‘Death’ card appears in a reading, the most common
thought is that it is predicting a physical death, that
someone is going to die. This, in most, if not all, cases
is highly unlikely.

I cannot speak for all Tarot readers, but I personally do
not use this card to represent a physical death. For me,
the Death card represents an event or series of events or
circumstances that may cause great disruption and possible
upset, but which make transformation in its many forms
inevitable.

I am not a medium or clairvoyant, but I do use the Tarot
cards to help give men and women around the world some
insights into their own situations and to look at their
lives from a different perspective. Let me give you some
examples: one of the greatest blows any of us can receive,
man or woman, is when we fall utterly in love with someone
only to be rejected and left alone. Many of you may have
had such an experience and it can feel like your world has
fallen apart.

Such incidences can create transformational change within
us, changing our outlook and our approach to love and
relationships. For example, if someone, who didn’t love
you, lets you go, it can open up a whole new set of
circumstances and opportunities for you.

There have been numerous case histories of people who have
been bankrupt and who have lost everything only to change
course and tactics and go on to achieve great success.

For me, the end of something, whether it be a relationship,
job, career or lifestyle is only the sign that it is time
for something new to be created. If I am no longer in that
relationship, I am free to pursue new love. If I have lost
my job, I am free to look for a better one and so on.

The tale of the Phoenix sums up the meaning of the Death
card quite well, where a bird dies in the flames only to
emerge and fly out of the fire transformed into something
far greater.

So don’t fear the Death card when it appears. Take it as a
sign that something in your life may come to an end. The
transition may be challenging but as the end comes to pass
a new beginning will present itself.

Love and Joy,
Alison

Sunday, November 05, 2006

JUSTICE

Hi paui

Life can be fair and just, and justice will be served if
logic, fairness and a sound sense of judgment prevails.

The Justice card, needless to say, often represents legal
issues or events; most traditional Tarot cards feature the
sword and scales. When this card appears in a reading
concerning legal affairs such as divorce proceedings,
alimony payments or any legal battle, it is normally a
positive sign that any ruling will be in your favor.

The card can also represent contracts and agreements so,
again, it can be a good omen for business deals and
proposals.

It is a card that suggests you seek or give sound advice
based on cool logic and reason. In other words, it is best
not to allow unruly emotions to influence you in any
situation where legal issues are a concern.

In a situation where the Justice card is surrounded by
negative cards, it can mean that an injustice could be
experienced or that a legal ruling may go against you.
Tread carefully when such cards come up and certainly seek
wise counsel. It would be best not to make any hasty or
impulsive decisions when such a reading comes up.

In relation to business deals or proposals, negative cards
around the Justice card could mean you may be unsuccessful
in securing a deal or contract. Here too, it would be wise
to seek further advice and exercise caution.

However, there is a greater or deeper meaning to the
Justice card beyond its legal ramifications. It is deemed
a very karmic card, a card of adjustment and fairness at a
more spiritual level.

When it appears in your reading, it can mean that if you
have been the victim of ill will or misfortune, the wrong
will be put right and fate will turn in your favor. Issues
of honesty, integrity and idealism are paramount when this
card appears.

Love and Joy,
Alison

Thursday, November 02, 2006

UNDAS

its halloween and i'm at home! geeeez i cant believe it... heheheh... starting this nov i'm going to try to blog more often. and enuff of the dramas! gawd! i'm sick and tired of ranting and ranting! things are going to really change from now on! promise! (ate luds! hehe)

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

done....

it has been done! yeah... i burned all of it (well except the plastics hehehe... i didnt want to contribute to the ozone depletion. ) the heat on my face felt so good... but something inside was a little bit sad, coz for 8 years i have kept those things in memory of our good times together...but what the heck those memories will always be in my heart and besides he's not the one i would like to grow old with anymore so why bother keeping those things right? yay! anyways, the entire afternoon i was just here at home fixing those stuff... i read a lot of letters and i cant help but cry... i am the biggest loser of all time... how could i be so blind?! so stupid!?! and so heartless... i have this collection of letters in a notebook... it was more of a mini book where raimond and i would write letters (actually there was three) i read all of it this afternoon and i cant help but cry... i remembered why i fell inlove with that guy i felt how much he loved me, i realized how stupid i was hurting him... but its all too late now... i can never ever bring all that back and its what hurts me the most........

done....

it has been done! yeah... i burned all of it (well except the plastics hehehe... i didnt want to contribute to the ozone depletion. ) the heat on my face felt so good... but something inside was a little bit sad, coz for 8 years i have kept those things in memory of our good times together...but what the heck those memories will always be in my heart and besides he's not the one i would like to grow old with anymore so why bother keeping those things right? yay! anyways, the entire afternoon i was just here at home fixing those stuff... i read a lot of letters and i cant help but cry... i am the biggest loser of all time... how could i be so blind?! so stupid!?! and so heartless... i have this collection of letters in a notebook... it was more of a mini book where raimond and i would write letters (actually there was three) i read all of it this afternoon and i cant help but cry... i remembered why i fell inlove with that guy i felt how much he loved me, i realized how stupid i was hurting him... but its all too late now... i can never ever bring all that back and its what hurts me the most........

a walk down memory lane...

i so wanted to do this a long time ago... and now that i had the time i did it... i started with my memory box... this box contained stuff which i kept while i was still with mark... it contained letters, pictures, bus tickets, dried roses, id pins and even phonecards... everything that meant to me during those times... not that it doesnt mean anything to me now but i dont think i still need to keep those things anymore... we have our own seperate lives and i am happy that he already found the person that he could spend his life with... so there... off to the second box, it is the box where i keep all my letters and stuff from raimond... i read the letters but most of the letters were from me...i remember he gave it to so i could keep it... i called him to ask what he wanted to do with those letters,i asked if he wanted to throw it away or keep it... he didnt know what to say so i just told him that i would compile everything and just give it back to him... then he will be the one to decide whether he would want to keep it or throw it all away... throwing away all these things does not mean that i am throwing away all the memories that i had with these people, they know that they will always be a part of me and that those memories will always remain in a special place in my heart...

here are some of the things that will just remain in pictures...
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marvins, dumdums, tape, wwjd's, etc.....
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dried roses... 9 years na to :D fonkards... dami!

respect

i know i have been a really really bad person... i dont deserve to be trusted anymore but i think i still deserve some kind of respect. i dont think i deserve to be treated like this... i know i am stupid but i dont deserve to be filled up with bulls*!&# ... why am i putting up with this? i dont understand why i am trying my best to make it work? when i know that whatever i do i will be treated like trash... is it still about love? or am i just being plain stupid again? i dont need this crap and i dont have to put up with it anymore... just now after putting down the phone i feel so stupid and used and so abused... i have never ever felt like this before... but yeah i have to understand... i have to forgive the person who did this to me... after all i was the one who made the mistakes... ive learned my lesson... i have to be more firm now... i have to stop crying and start living...again.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

i miss blogging

yeah i really do... a lot has happened since i last blogged. i was a very good girl. i actually made my parents very happy... i too was really really happy! i graduated already! i dont know if i was just emotional of something but i really felt like crying when i went up the stage to make my graduation official... it was the first time that my dad hugged me with his two arms... it felt really good haiz... thank you LORD! i love you!

will post pics soon :)

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

THE EMPRESS

Hi paui

Fruitful abundance, fertility and motherhood, emotional
support, security and joy, and prosperity makes this one of
my favorite cards in the Tarot deck.

THIS WEEK'S CARD: THE EMPRESS

The Empress is a card that signifies reassurance and love
reflecting the maternal aspects of the card. When she
appears in your reading, The Empress may signify your
desire to be a mother or the possibility of you being one
(if you’re female!), or the desire for the kind of love a
mother gives and receives.

She is a good omen if you are considering starting a family
or having more children. She can also signify the need to
focus on your role as a mother or your relationship with
your own mother or mother figure.

We all like to be loved and cared for and The Empress
signifies the comforting feeling and reward one receives
for loving and caring for those that are dear to you. As
an outcome, she is a sign that abundance and well-being is
on its way and that everything will turn out alright for
you.

Wherever she appears in a reading, think of the kindly
encouragement or loving support a mother gives to her
child, and know that someone in your life is there for
you. This may not always be your mother; it could be
another female relative, friend or even associate who will
show her love and compassion when you most need it.

The Empress also represents creativity and art, so when she
appears in a reading she can also be a good omen for you to
encourage any creative or artistic talents you have as this
may lead to future material and financial abundance.

She is the smiling face of encouragement and the warm
embrace of comfort, so whatever you may be considering when
The Empress appears, take it that you will receive the
support and help you require.

If The Empress appears in a reading surrounded by negative
cards, it may be that a female in your life is behaving in
an overbearing manner and it is important that you do not
allow her to bully you.

The Empress is multi-dimensional. She can represent your
desires and needs as a woman, she can represent other women
in your life or she can simply represent birth and
creativity. So when the card appears in a reading, take the
surrounding cards into account and also try to understand
it in relation to the particular question you have asked.

Love and Joy,
Alison

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

dreams

In dreams,
the perfect love
has a smile,
a voice, a touch
that seem meant just
for you.
In dreams,
the perfect love
is tender and giving,
always knowing just what to say
to make you feel wanted,
just what to do
to make you feel loved....
In dreams, the perfect love
is that one person
with whom you can let go
and be yourself,
the one who makes you feel
completely alive
just by being near.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

THE MAGICIAN

Hi paui

This week I thought we'd look at one of my favorite cards.

THIS WEEK'S CARD: THE MAGICIAN

The Magician marks a time for showing initiative and for
new beginnings and opportunities that show great promise
for the future.

When this card appears in your reading, it can indicate
possible opportunities. If you have the willpower and
determination to pursue your goals, you have every chance
of being successful.

The Magician is all about harnessing your own magic,
finding the charm and artful communication that can
persuade people and events round to your way of thinking.
You will need to think on your feet but with insight and
wisdom you can find a way to succeed.

For example, you may wish to charm a new suitor
romantically or convince a bank manager that your business
is worth backing, or even persuade your partner or lover
that marriage really is a good idea!

The cheeky and irresistible charm of The Magician can work
wonders, and sometimes having the ability to play the odd
bluff or to create an illusion to get a result isn’t always
a bad thing if it works out for everyone in the end.

If faced with tough challenges or obstacles, The Magician
is a good omen that your quick thinking and artful
communication skills will enable you to work around them
and stay ahead of any adversaries.

I always feel that The Magician has all the joyful and
youthful exuberance of The Fool but with the added benefit
of wisdom from experience. This card represents the early
stages or beginnings of an opportunity or phase of your
life so no result is definite. If, however, you can harness
the confidence and charm of The Magician, you are far more
likely to succeed.

The Magician may also represent a man in your readings if
you have asked a question about relationships, and in this
case, the card can be a little difficult to interpret
because of the illusionary, magical aspect to it.

The best rule of thumb is, if The Magician is surrounded by
positive cards, then this man could well be charming, fun,
great to be around, and very possibly quite eccentric!!

If, however, it is surrounded by negative cards, take care
as he may be a trickster or con man. This may refer to a
possible lover, business partner, work colleague etc. It
basically means be careful who you trust, as all may not
be as it seems.

The Magician is about the magic of possibility and how,
with creativity, enthusiasm and sheer willpower, we can
make things happen in our lives. With initiative and
careful insight you can harness your own magic and have the
wisdom to see through illusion.

Love and Joy,
Alison

Monday, September 18, 2006

THE TOWER

Hi paui

When everything seems to be crumbling around your ears, it
can be very difficult to believe that things can and will
get better. But, despite the fact that The Tower represents
disruption or collapse of certain aspects within your life,
these very events can often lead to brand new possibilities.

THIS WEEK'S CARD: THE TOWER


There’s no getting around this one, The Tower is not a
welcome card in a reading yet, at the same time, it does
not warrant feelings of panic or fear. The card can often
indicate an event or period of time that could be
challenging and difficult but, as is so often the case, one
disaster can often lead to a new victory.

For example, an unexpected request for divorce from a
spouse could be devastating, yet I know of people where
such an experience led to them achieving more than they
ever dreamed of because they pursued a different path as a
result. Often, such an incident creates the freedom and
space for a new and greater love to walk into your life.

Many people have experienced bankruptcy, lost their homes
and material possessions only to change tactics and create
great wealth and success. The clearing away of the old
often makes way for the new.

The life lessons we learn from the turbulence indicated by
The Tower help us to rethink and to approach our lives with
a newfound wisdom so that we don’t make the same mistakes
again.

So, if The Tower appears in your reading, then there may be
something in your life that will challenge you or has
challenged you, and it will be up to you how you choose to
get over it and learn from the experience.

Sometimes The Tower may represent you as the person causing
the disruption. Perhaps you need to make choices or
decisions that are important to you but could cause
material or emotional loss. In such a situation, only you
can know whether you are prepared to pay the price.

The Tower can also serve as a warning that a certain choice
or decision could lead to disaster, such as, if you are
considering an extra-marital affair, leaving your job
without a new one to step into, that kind of thing.

Take heed when this card comes up, but don’t panic or get
anxious. Consider your options and choices wisely and if
you can avoid such chaos, great! If chaos is forced upon
you, trust that however challenging it may be, you can find
a way to move forward with your life.

Love and Joy,
Alison

P.S. If the Tower describes your current life events, you're
probably feeling really lousy right now. You may have no
idea which way to turn and just feel that your life is
falling apart.

It's at times like this, that I find the Tarot most
beneficial.

Gaining some insight into your circumstances really helps
to give you hope that there's light at the end of the
tunnel, and that you'll reach it sooner of later.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

think.....

Think about the following:

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.

4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for
Best Actor and Actress.

6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series Winners (by year).


How did you do?


The point is, none of us remembers the headliners of yesterday.
These are no second-rate achievers.
They're the best in their fields.
But the applause dies.
Awards tarnish.
Achievements are forgotten.
Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.



Now here's another quiz.
See how you do on this one:


1. List a few teachers who aided your
journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you
through a difficult time in your life.

3. Name five people who have taught you
some worthwhile lesson.

4. Think of a few people who have made you
feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending
time with.

6. Name a half dozen heroes whose stories
have inspired you.

Easier?

The lesson?

The people who make a difference in your
life aren't the ones with the most
credentials, the most money, or the most
awards. They're the ones who care.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

THE HANGED MAN

They say that going back to someone or something from your
past isn’t normally a good idea, as though 'going back' is a
'step backwards'.

Although this may sometimes hold true, it certainly isn't
always the case.

Finding yourself in such a dilemma can cause a state of
impasse or limbo where you really don’t know what to do for
the best. This brings me to The Hanged Man card, a card
that normally indicates the need to make some kind of self-
sacrifice, or indicates a need for you to give someone or
something up.

We all know how very difficult this can be! ;- )

Contemplating how challenging such situations can be,
especially when it concerns affairs of the heart, inspired
me to write The Sign Post reading, which is now part of
the membership readings.

How do you know what or who you should give up? Are you
considering giving up the right person or the right thing?
Are you looking at your situation from the right
perspective? Perhaps all you need to ‘give up’ is a certain
attitude you have towards someone or something.

The Hanged Man doesn’t always mean giving up something
material or giving up a certain person. It can mean giving
up inappropriate or negative attitudes or emotions that are
creating a state of impasse for you.

If you feel confused, or fearful of making the wrong choice
or decision, because of mixed emotions or powerful and
addictive attractions, you can focus or meditate on Tarot
readings to help guide you to an intuitive answer.

When The Hanged Man appears you can be pretty sure he’s
saying ‘you’ve got to give something or someone up in order
to move on, or at the very least try and look at your
situation from a fresh perspective’.

In releasing ourselves from a situation that has become
stale, neutral or indeed negative, we can create a new
freedom. Limbo-land, or a state where you are lost without
direction, is not a great place to be.

So if you find yourself asking questions such as:

should I go back to someone in my life or let them go?
should I go back to an ex-lover or not?
should I stay in my job or leave to pursue greater goals?
should I end an affair?
should I leave my partner?
should I accept that my current business attempts are
failing and go back to a job?

you may find ‘The Sign Post’ and the ‘what should I let go
of’ readings helpful guides when you’re making a difficult
choice or trying to make the decision that is right for you.

Love and Joy,
Alison

well these cards does make sense... i am actually caught in a dilemma that i cant seem to resolve... after what happened the other day... me getting updated about the past was really ticking me off but then i am proud to say that i havent done anything to confirm what i have heard or assumed what was going on... i wasnt like that at all... usually i would check on things, people and stuff if they were true or not. although i had no way of making sure whether it was true, it calmed me in a way that i was assured of what was happening... but now that i have no way of checking on what was really happening, i start to just let it go... i know the possibilities of it happening since i heard it in my own ears... in a way i was successful in fighting back those feelings that shouldnt really be there in the first place... if i would let those feelings get the best of me i know i will just break down... and i dont want to be like that anymore... now i am looking forward to a great start... another phase in my life that i have yet to explore... and as i face dilemmas, i know that next time i will be more certain of the things that i will decide on..............

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

stories..

you're moving on... having a good time... focusing on work... planning for your own future... keeping yourself busy with stuff... reading books to help you think about stuff... and forgeting those things that needs to be forgotten... just when you feel that you are successful in keeping yourself away from all the sad things they just cant help but find a way in seeping back in....

dont you just love to hear stories? i likve hearing stories from other people, specially my friends... yesterday, i saw my old friend... we havent seen each other for a long time so when we saw each other we hugged and giggled and talked... we talked about stuff that happened to each other, updated ourselves on what was going on in our lives the lives of our other friends and the "exes"... so her ex is my friend, and once in a while her ex would call or text me to go out with them (our common friends from bf) she told me what was going on between them... we almost had the same concern so i talked to her about my ex who also knew her... then she told me that they saw each other in a bar (launching of something...) and then he told her that we were just friends... i expected that part... but then she told me that he asked for her friends number because he liked her or something... and i cant help it but feel a little disappointed and hurt... yes ouf course i dont have the right to feel like that anymore... specially now that i am on the road to moving on... its just so sad to see that someone has already moved on and you were still stuck there thinking on what to do next... i am supposed to be happy right? i know that things will never be the same... people grow up and move on... thats what i'm trying to do now... ill be leaving soon and i hope that when i leave, ill be on my own... far from this things that keeps hurting me...

i am reading this book... Love Decisions... it helped me see things more clearly... i realized that i was doing the wrong things... living in a fairytale and denying reality... thinking that things will be okay, that things will change... but then it did not, it even got worst... i know its too late to make up for the things i did because there is nothing to make up for anymore... the best thing that i can do is change... i know ive been saying this for the past months... well i did change... not drastically but more subtle... before i let all my emotions get the best of me... now i try very hard to let my logical thinking get ahead of my emotions... a friend told me that we are not thinking beings,, we are emotional beings so we must not our brain do all the decision making, we also have to involve our hearts in what we want to achieve... i am going to use more of my heart now than just my brain... its not doing me good... trying to be sure that i was ok even if the people around me are not... i know its mean and really selfish... i dont want to be like that anymore... i didnt grow and i remained the bad bad girl.... i havent finished the book yet... but i can feel that i am changing... that's good... for me at least...

Monday, September 11, 2006

THE DEVIL

Hi paui

What sort of emotional response and thoughts do words like
temptation, intoxication, addiction and lust evoke in you?

Does the thought of a certain person evoke lust and
excitement? Are you addicted to something and
try as you may, you simply can’t bring yourself to give
it up?

THIS WEEK'S CARD: THE DEVIL

Now that we're talking about addiction, are you addicted to
certain foods that sabotage your every attempt at losing
weight?

Here is the very best Diet (and Health) information we've
found available ANYWHERE.

This isn't a fad diet full of hollow promises - that's just
more of the Devil, offering instant gratification ...
soooooo tempting.

It is a fabulously researched, down to earth, easy to
follow, genuine way to lose that weight, feel great, and keep
your figure the way you want it ... PERMANENTLY!

It's called 'Government Dieting Secrets' - you'll be amazed
(and shocked) at the things you didn't know about the food
you eat!

Here's the link:

http://lotustarot.com/i2/j

Now back to the Devil card...

When someone makes your heart beat faster or a favorite
pastime makes you feel high, it can be tremendously
difficult to resist.

Yes, we are talking about The Devil card and all the
temptation it can represent. This card is not entirely
bad, although it does mainly represent destructive forces
and unhealthy attachments.

On a positive note, The Devil can represent strong and
unbreakable bonds, so when it appears in a reading
concerning a love relationship, surrounded by positive
cards, it can be a good sign for marriage or a serious
commitment.

However, that is about the only positive aspect of the
card! Usually when The Devil card shows up in any of your
readings you need to question your motives. The card
represents addictions of all sorts, and seeking pleasure
and physical satisfaction even when you know or suspect the
experience may prove destructive for you.

Many who have emailed me, or requested private email
readings, have asked for guidance from the cards when
tormented by an addictive and destructive relationship.
Most of the time we know when something is bad for us, don’t
we? Yet it doesn’t make giving the pleasure up any easier,
does it?

When The Devil appears in your reading, stop and ask
yourself whether you feel in control, whether the emotions
and sensations you have concerning a particular person or
issue are positive and nurturing or negative and
destructive.

If you choose to ignore the warning The Devil card
represents, then you must accept the consequences of
indulging in relationships or passtimes that are unhealthy
or destructive. Perhaps you truly desire love, marriage and
your own child, yet you continue to have an affair with a
married person who won’t commit to you.

Or perhaps you spend money you can’t afford on shopping or
indulge in partying too much, which is causing financial
and health problems.

Whatever ‘addiction’ The Devil card may represent for you,
try to recognize it for what it is, and accept the
consequences of your actions should you choose to continue
with it or give it up.

If The Devil is appearing in your readings and you wish to
consult the cards about how to handle a situation or person
that is proving addictive, these particular membership
readings may help give further clarification

Letting Go
Love and Relationships – Choices
The Sign Post Reading
The Goddess Within Reading

Love and Joy,
Alison

P.S. If you're wanting to lose a few pounds, or just
start eating healthier, do take a look at that diet info
I recommended.

Remember, the instant gratification offered by most fad
d-i-e-t-s is just what the Devil card is all about... promises
of easy results, when you really know that's just not
possible, or it'll probably end up in tears (the weight
usually goes straight back on, plus a few pounds!)

This is a fabulously researched, down to earth, easy to
follow, genuine way to lose that weight, feel great, and keep
your figure the way you want it ... PERMANENTLY!

It's called 'Government Dieting Secrets' - you'll be amazed
(and shocked) at the things you didn't know about the food
you're eating every single day!

In fact, if you're eating certain foods (and these aren't
the foods you think), it's impossible to lose w.eight

Thursday, September 07, 2006

SEX I.D.

SEX I.D. - Your sex i.d. profile


Your overall performance
The scale below is an indication of where you fall in the male-female brain continuum. The results are based on the angles, spot the difference, 3D shapes and words tasks.

Bear in mind that your performance may be affected by many factors in addition to gender, like age and intelligence.

Your personal brain score:
Average score for MEN who've taken this survey:
Average score for WOMEN who've taken this survey:


If you are using a public PC we strongly advise you to print out and delete your results if you do not want anyone to see them. Your score for each task


Part 1

Angles


This task tested your ability to identify the angle of a line by matching it with its twin. This is a spatial task, which looks at how you picture space.
Your score: 15 out of 20
Average score for men: 15.1 out of 20
Average score for women: 13.3 out of 20

What does your result suggest?

If you scored 0 - 12: You have more of a female brain. Scientists believe that people with a female brain find it more difficult to judge the slope of a line because they're not wired for spatial tasks. In past studies, 65 per cent of people who scored in this range were women.

If you scored 13 - 17: You found this test neither hard nor easy. This suggests your brain has male and female traits when it comes to spatial ability.

If you scored 18 - 20: You have more of a male brain. On average, men outperform women in this task and those with more mathematical knowledge tend to score quite high as well. In past studies, 60 per cent of the people in this range were men.

Interestingly, men's testosterone levels fluctuate through the seasons and studies have shown that men's scores are lower in the spring, when their testosterone levels are at their lowest.

Do our cave dwelling ancestors offer us any clues about why men and women score differently on this task? Find out more.

Spot the difference


This task tested your ability to identify which objects changed position. You lost points, if you incorrectly identified objects.
Your score: 71%
Average score for men: 39%
Average score for women: 46%

What does your score suggest?

If you scored between 0 - 33%: You may have more of a male brain. Scientists say men tend to under perform in this task. The corpus callosum, the part of the brain that links the right and left hemispheres, is a fifth larger in women. This means women can process visual and other signals at the same time more easily than men. There is also a theory that oestrogen levels in women give them an added advantage in spatial memory.

If you scored between 34 - 66%: You may have a balanced female-male brain.

If you scored between 67 - 100%: Those with a female-type brain generally score in this range. Your ability to remember where objects are may serve as an advantage to you when you're trying to find your way around places. You're more capable of recalling landmarks to get from one place to another.

Find out more about our spatial abilities.


Part 2

Hands



You said your left thumb was on top when you clasped your hands together.

Right thumb on top: This suggests the left half of your brain is dominant. Many studies have tried to establish whether there is a relationship between handedness and brain dominance. Some scientists believe that if you are left brain dominant, you would be more verbal and analytical.

Left thumb on top: This suggests the right half of your brain is dominant. Some studies theorise that as a right brain dominant person, you may excel in visual, spatial and intuitive processes.

However, these theories are debatable and leave much to be said about the small percentage of people who are ambidextrous.

Find out why right-brained people may be better fighters and artists.


Part 3

Emotions and Systems


This task looked at whether you prefer to empathise or systemise.
Empathising

Your empathy score is: 12 out of 20
Average score for men: 7.9 out of 20
Average score for women: 10.6 out of 20

What does your result suggest?

Empathisers are better at accurately judging other people's emotions and responding appropriately. If you scored 15 and above, you are very empathic and would be an ideal person to comfort people in a time of crisis. Women in general are better at empathising.

Systemising

Your systemising score is: 10 out of 20
Average score for men: 12.5 out of 20
Average score for women: 8.0 out of 20

What does your result suggest?

Systemisers prefer to investigate how systems work. A system can be a road map, flat pack furniture, or a mathematical equation – anything that follows a set of rules. A score of 15 and above suggests you're good at analysing or building systems. Men in general are better at systemising.

Scientists are keen to learn more about people who score high or low on both tests. They want to find out whether or not empathising and systemising are linked. Is a possible to make yourself more empathic?

Some scientists claim that our empathy and systemising abilities can be traced all the way back to prehistoric times. Find out more.

Eyes


This task tested your ability to judge people's emotions.
Your score: 8 out of 10
Average score for men: 6.6 out of 10
Average score for women: 6.6 out of 10

What does your result suggest?

If you scored 0 - 3: Do you think you're good at judging how another person is feeling? Your score suggests this doesn't come to you quite so naturally.

If you scored 4 - 6: Your result suggests you have a balanced female-male brain and find it neither easy nor difficult to judge people's emotions.

If you scored 7 - 10: Your result suggests you are a good empathiser, sensitive to other people's emotions. Women generally fall into this category.

Professor Baron-Cohen at the University of Cambridge says that people usually perform better than they expect to on this test.

Men often think a person's eyes are sending signals of desire when that's not the case at all. Find out more.


Part 4

Fingers


We asked you to measure your ring and index fingers. Your ratios came to:
Right Hand: 0.93
Left Hand: 0.93

Average ratio for men: 0.982
Average ratio for women: 0.991

It's thought that your ratio is governed by the amount of testosterone you were exposed to in your mother's womb. The ratio of the length of your index finger to the length of your ring finger is set for life by as early as three months after conception. Even during puberty, when we experience intensive hormonal changes, the ratio stays the same.

Men generally have a ring finger that is longer than their index finger, which gives them a lower ratio than women, whose ring and index fingers are usually of equal length.

Studies have found that men and women with lots of brothers generally have more masculine finger ratios. Find out what other things scientists think our ratios may tell us.


Part 5

Faces


This task looked at how you rate the attractiveness of a series of faces. The images you looked at were digitally altered to create slight differences in masculinity.

Your choices suggest you prefer more masculine faces.

Highly masculinised male faces possess more extreme testosterone markers such as a long, broad and lower jaw, as well as more pronounced brow ridges and cheekbones.

Interestingly, women's preferences are said to vary across the menstrual phase. A more masculine face is preferred during the 9 days prior to ovulation, when conception is most likely.

A typical 'attractive' female face possesses features such as a shorter, narrower, lower jaw, fuller lips and larger eyes than an average face.

Are you surprised at what researchers think they can learn from your answers? Find out more.


Part 6

3D shapes


This task tested your ability to mentally rotate 3D shapes.

Your score: 8 out of 12
Average score for men: 8.2 out of 12
Average score for women: 7.1 out of 12

What does your result suggest?

If you scored 0 - 6: Do you find yourself having to physically rotate a map to point in the direction in which you're travelling? This might explain why you scored in the lower range in the 3D shapes test. Twice as many women as men score in this category. Previous studies suggest that those with a female-type brain or with an arts background fall into this range.

If you scored 7 - 9: In past studies, 50 per cent of the people who scored in this range were women and 50 per cent were men.

If you scored 10 - 12: Are you an engineer or do you have a science background? People with these skills tend to score in this range. Past studies have concluded that people in this range have a more male brain.

Nearly a third of men who took this test got full marks, whereas less than 10 per cent of women managed the same. Find out why.

Words


This task looked at your verbal fluency.

Your score: you associated 6 word(s) with grey and you named 5 word(s) that mean happy. We are assuming that all the words you entered are correct.
Average score for men: 11.4 words total
Average score for women: 12.4 words total

What does your result suggest?

If you produced 1 - 5 words: You are more of the strong, silent type with a male brain. You probably find it easier to express yourself in non-verbal ways, preferring action rather than words.

If you produced 6 - 10 words: Most people in this range have a female-type brain.

Women are said to use both sides of the brain when doing verbal tasks while men mainly use their left side. Studies have shown that girls develop vocabulary faster than boys. This difference in brain power is caused by levels of pre-natal testosterone. Find out more .

Ultimatum


This task asked you how you would divide money.

If you had to split £50 with someone, you said you would demand £25

So far on the Sex ID test, men have demanded 51.6% (£25.80) of the pot and women have demanded 51.0% (£25.50), on average.

What does your response suggest?

Sex differences are small in this task. Demanding less than 60% of the pot (ie £30) is more typically female. Demanding more than 65% of the pot (ie £32.50) is more typically male.

Scientists believe that people with lower testosterone levels tend to take fewer risks so they are probably more willing to keep less for themselves. Those with higher testosterone levels tend to drive a harder bargain and are less compromising.

Men's testosterone levels fluctuate over the seasons and are at their lowest levels during the springtime. This is said to influence their bargaining power. Find out more about the role of testosterone.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

THE GREATEST ADVICE -

THE GREATEST ADVICE -
Rick Warren, the Purpose Driven Life

Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough & know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.
Don't stagnate!

Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr. Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr. Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won, only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions & be the best of what you can be.
Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.

Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself. Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU.

It isn't true that life does not get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in God.
Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!

When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back.
Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give to someone is your time.
Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


>>>> i like this email...many have already forwarded this mail to me... but whenever i see this message, i read it over and over again. i like the message that it is giving... i actually have the book but i havent finished reading it... i would write down my own thoughts on these things so when i need to be consoled i can always read back and realize that i am stonger than i think i am...

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

stars.......

Hi paui

Have you ever experienced the joy of staring into a clear
night sky, awestruck by the incredible sight of a zillion
sparkling stars?

What about the thrill of seeing a shooting star, for a
fleeting moment, burning so brightly, then ... gone?

Do you get the same buzz I do?

What is it about stars, that evoke such wonderful feelings?

Gazing at a star-studded night sky is a truly beautiful and
hypnotic experience.

There is a magic and wonder about the stars and many of us
are familiar with the phrase ‘wish upon a star’.

What would you wish for right now? If you were to wish for
it, would you believe it could ever come true?

I wanted to share with you the magic I have experienced by
focusing on The Star card when it has come up in my
readings.

Wishing upon a star is at the heart of The Star card’s
meaning. It is a card of optimism, hope and unexpected
gifts. When this magical card comes up in a reading for
you it heralds a time of more positive opportunities and
happy outcomes.

This card is welcome almost anywhere in a reading as it is
a good indication that your wishes will be fulfilled,
sometimes not always as you would expect, and this card can
bring one or more unexpected gifts your way.

When it appears it can mean you are being too negative or
pessimistic, and it encourages you to have more hope and
optimism in your heart and mind, which is why I asked the
question earlier – 'if you did make a wish, would you
believe it could come true?'

I have wished upon The Star card many times and my
spirits always lift when it appears in my readings. I
recall in early spring of 2002 making a wish to be
given an opportunity to work with the Tarot with as many
people as possible, sharing a gift that was mutually
beneficial for my clients and myself.

It was a big dream and a big wish for at that time I
couldn’t see how I could achieve it, but I did BELIEVE I
would. Then in May of 2002, I met David, the talented
webmaster of Lotus Tarot, and as they say, the rest is
history :-)

The Star card has been a frequent feature in my readings
for most of the last year and I know why: because I have
received so many unexpected surprises and gifts, not just
in money and material things, but also friendships and
love.

If you haven’t taken much notice of this card before, look
out for it now, and when it comes up, make your wish!!
Remember, a wish made with hope and belief can bring so much
more power and magic to it.

Love and Joy,
Alison


>>>> i guess the timing is right again... ive been wishing for true happiness but all i get is sadness... maybe because i just keep on wishing for it while doing nothing... lately ive been so focused in my studies that didnt notice that i have been taking advantage over my own body... ive been pushing myself to the limit... staying awake til dawn just to finish papers... not eating on time so i wont have a bulging tummy during a shoot... sometimes not eating at all specially when i have to study for a quiz or an exam... but i get mental block because i was too hungry to remember all the things that i have been trying to memorize... now that i am unofficially a graduate... and i have more free time, i want to channel all my unused energy to sports... i was not like this at all when i was still playing sports... i might not be able to play in a team anymore but at least i want to exercise... i dont want to have moments where i would just think of things that would make me cry... i want to be stress free... i remember when i was still in high school, i was always full of energy and full of life... but now that i dont get to do any exercise activities, i am always sad, annoyed, stressed and i cant sleep at night... now i am going to change m routine... i need to get back in shape... i miss the old me... i am not just going to wish for happiness... i am going to do things that would make me really happy!!

Monday, August 28, 2006

ordinary song

Just an ordinary song
To a special girl like you
From a simple guy
That's so in love with you

I may not have much to show
No diamonds that glow
No limosines
To take you where you go.

But if you give to find youself
Fight in all the games you play
When the world seems so unfair
You can count on me to stay
Just take sometime
And lend an ear
To this ordinary song

Just an ordinary song
To a special girl like you
From a simple guy
That's so in love with you

I don't even have the looks
To make you glance my way
The clothes i wear
They just seem so absurd

But deep inside of me is you
You give life to what I do
All those years may see you through
Still i'll be waiting here for you
If you have time
Please lend an ear
To this ordinary song

Just an ordinary song
To a special girl like you
From a simple guy
That's so in love with you


>>>> the first time i heard this song
on the radio i thought it was another
opm that sucks... but then they would
always play it in the radio in boracay..
after a while i listened to the lyrics and
realized that it was a sweet song... i do
nt really wish for a prince charming
who would take me to far far away...
i just want a simle life, i just want someone
who will dream with me, take me
somewhere i've never been before and
love me for who i am... i know we
should really be careful of what we
wish for but i really wish that i find
my simple guy.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

sometimes you have to make your own rainbows

when you see old pictures you cant help but smile while reminiscing about the past... when you read old letters you laugh because you realize how silly you were back then. although you like keeping them in a box and looking at them once in a while but you know that you have to throw most of them away, for sometimes they only mean more pain... you belive that life is unfair, when you are doing great on one part of your life, the other parts come crashing down. happiness only lasts for a day and the day after but the next thing you'll know problems will seep back in. there is always a struggle for your freedom but once you are free you miss being tied up. when its too hot you wish for some clouds to cover the sun and when it gets really cloudy you pray that it doesnt rain... but most of the time it pours..... really hard. sometimes youreally have to make your own rainbows because you really cannot control anything but your own life, there is no one who will always be there... in fact there is no one but you. no one will ever make things better, for they will only make things worse.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

what do you think of my new hair?
please feel free to leave your comments.....

busted chargers, long papers, unanswered calls and over fatigue

yeah... i've been really really busy... i actually like it but then my body cant seem to cope up with the hectic schedule that i've been following all week. i studied for my exams, i was invited to be a judge for "circle of 10" contest (which by the way lasted for 4 hours! tsk tsk tsk...) had to pick up stuff, run some errands for my mom and more...my body seems to be giving up, i feel so weak, my runny nose still continues on running (lolz) and i am getting thinner and thinner... physically i'm still okay, mentally.... i dont know! i have this big big problem, i tend to overload on information that sometimes i cannot handle... so i just end u thinking about it... but in the end nothing changed, i try my best to absorb other people's advice but i end up taking the wrong advice... i know i should rely on my own decisions (well i do most of the time) but since i have lots of things in my mind i just close my eyes and follow what others would say. sometimes it helps but there are times that things get worse.... after all this mess i want to go to the beach to unwind, clear my mind off things that i shouldnt be thinking about and stop thinking about those people who i should be forgetting... the more i try to at least make up for my own mistakes all the more it gets worst... i dont want to just go on without really resolving the past but as i try to solve the riddles i get more and more caught up in the maze. its almost over... i'm crossing the river... i'm in the "real" world now... i hope that things will be better, but if its not then i am aready to draw my sword and charge to battle....

busted chargers, long papers, unanswered calls and over fatigue

yeah... i've been really really busy... i actually like it but then my body cant seem to cope up with the hectic schedule that i've been following all week. i studied for my exams, i was invited to be a judge for "circle of 10" contest (which by the way lasted for 4 hours! tsk tsk tsk...) had to pick up stuff, run some errands for my mom and more...my body seems to be giving up, i feel so weak, my runny nose still continues on running (lolz) and i am getting thinner and thinner... physically i'm still okay, mentally.... i dont know! i have this big big problem, i tend to overload on information that sometimes i cannot handle... so i just end u thinking about it... but in the end nothing changed, i try my best to absorb other people's advice but i end up taking the wrong advice... i know i should rely on my own decisions (well i do most of the time) but since i have lots of things in my mind i just close my eyes and follow what others would say. sometimes it helps but there are times that things get worse.... after all this mess i want to go to the beach to unwind, clear my mind off things that i shouldnt be thinking about and stop thinking about those people who i should be forgetting... the more i try to at least make up for my own mistakes all the more it gets worst... i dont want to just go on without really resolving the past but as i try to solve the riddles i get more and more caught up in the maze. its almost over... i'm crossing the river... i'm in the "real" world now... i hope that things will be better, but if its not then i am aready to draw my sword and charge to battle....

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Top 11 Signs You're Becoming A Geek

Top 11 Signs You're Becoming A Geek

11. Monitor tan. >>>>> hell yeah! haha! GOT THIS!

10. Before heading to the bathroom you inform your friends you're off
to download and log out.

9. You become physically ill at the mention of the RIAA, and visibly
excited at the mention of object-oriented programming.

8. You have a poster on your wall of the Linux penguin.

7. You're mad because all your friends got goodnight kisses after prom,
but your sister just slugged you in the arm and said "Thanks, bro."

6. You think having twice as many computers as there are people in the
house is a bare minimum.

5. You feel that living life like the movie "tron" wouldn't be so bad.

4. In your little black book, you list (both) the girls you know in
order by IP address.

3. You can type faster than you can speak >>>> YEP YEP YEP! hehehehe

2. When your shrink says "Mother . . . " you say " . . . Board."

1. If, by some happy accident, you someday have kids, you want to name
them after your favorite fonts. >>>>> yeah.... thought of that! :D


Tuesday, August 22, 2006

......rainy days & some days

there are times when i want to cry really really hard...specially when i get really disappointed with the things that are happening to to me. i dont know... i am supposed to be stronger now but the tears just keep on flowing... i cant even explain how i feel right now.... i am sooooo sad.... my tears wont stop... my heart is bursting with pain... i really want to get out of here... i want to move on...get out of this life....

Monday, August 21, 2006

Bingo!





























we played bingo at my neighbor's wake the other night. there were lots of people playing different games... cards, bingo, "sungka" and other stuff. my mom would always go there everynight and play, Aling Vicky (the deceased) didnt have any relatives so the neighbors alternately stayed there to accompany the husband of the deceased. his name is Mang Tobing, he also didnt have any contacts with his relatives... last night i just passed by there to watch but i didnt stay long because people were finished playing bingo and it was raining hard.... the next morning, my mom told me that mang tobing was standing there beside the casket staring at his wife... one of thier close neighbors joked around and said "Mang tobing miss mo na agad si aling vicky ah...." he just smiled and went inside... then after a while my mom said that they heard him cry. my mom said that he must miss her so much.. they've been together for more than 40 years already and they have never been apart... its good that there are still people who visits him at night because of the wake... but what will happen after aling vicky has already been buried? mang tobing will be alone... i'm sure that wil be a lot harder than being left by someone... i really wish that i may find my own "mang tobing" who will love and respect me as his own "aling vicky"...

Sunday, August 20, 2006

do i need a reason.....

Today when I saw you
I knew it was just like the first time
When you met my eyes I came close
And I felt like the first time

To hold back my fear
and feel you so near
I've never been this far before
To hold back my fear
and feel you so near
I'm scared of falling into deep this time

Do I need a reason to tell you why
I'm singing you this song
Do I need a reason to show you that
I know where I belong
Whenever I am weary I lean on
this feeling that I have
I am so much stronger now
Thankful, yes I am

Today I'll renounce them,
the doubts and the fears I've been nursing
I'll fly like a moth to the flame
and I'll feel like the first time

To hold back my fear
and let you come near
I've never been this far before
To hold back my fear
and let you come near
I'm afraid of loosing and still I go

yes i am stronger now...i like this feeling... but then there are times that the barriers that i have created lets some of my weaknesses to seep back in...once again i fall down to my knees, helpless and in pain... but there are still some of the barriers left so i can still find refuge from those barriers that are still standing strong and unscathed by the past that is trying to get into the barriers that i have created...i just hope that they remain as sturdy as i want them to be...but then one by one these barriers are bent by my own rules... by my own thoughts... my own words... and my own actions... i never should've allowed the great pain to come again... i m just hurting myself... i'm must pushing myself deeper in the quicksand that i cannot get out of...... i hope someday i can really say that i am really free and i can once again walk my own path towards what i really want to be....

Saturday, August 19, 2006

vanity













different sides of me.... Vanity is one of the deadly sins and here are the results of one quiz i took

Greed:Very High

Gluttony:High

Wrath:Very High

Sloth:Medium

Envy:High

Lust:Very High

Pride:High



Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

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Kotts
Kotts
pquinto.sulit.com.ph - Friday, April 3, 2009

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