respect

i know i have been a really really bad person... i dont deserve to be trusted anymore but i think i still deserve some kind of respect. i dont think i deserve to be treated like this... i know i am stupid but i dont deserve to be filled up with bulls*!&# ... why am i putting up with this? i dont understand why i am trying my best to make it work? when i know that whatever i do i will be treated like trash... is it still about love? or am i just being plain stupid again? i dont need this crap and i dont have to put up with it anymore... just now after putting down the phone i feel so stupid and used and so abused... i have never ever felt like this before... but yeah i have to understand... i have to forgive the person who did this to me... after all i was the one who made the mistakes... ive learned my lesson... i have to be more firm now... i have to stop crying and start living...again.