Friday, March 24, 2006

Little Black Book

i was sleepy already, i am soooo tired i just wanted to fall asleep so i turned the TV on (because watching lame movies makes me fall asleep) as i was flipping through the channels i saw this movie.. Little Black Book starring Brittany Murphy.. so i wasnt able to sleep early and ended up watching the whole movie (plus i was able to blog it down hehehe....) there were really nice quotes from that movie...this was about a girl who snooped in her bf's palm pilot and found out that he was still keeping his ex girlfriends number, she interviewed these girls and eventually became friends with one of the girls then they were featured in this sorta like jerry springers show and everything came out.. she confessed everything and realized that her bf was better off with the ex she let him go and she set out to find her own happiness...awwww

here's one of the really nice quotes i found in the movie:
"I believe we write our own stories. And each time we think we know the end - we don't. Perhaps luck exists somewhere between the world of planning, the world of chance, and in peace that comes from knowing that you just can't know it all. You know, life's funny that way. Once you let go of the wheel, you might end up right where you belong.

i totally agree with her..we really dont know anything about the end, but we can do our very best to make the ending a really really good one. i think that everybody is lucky ( in different aspects, in thier own way ) but sometimes we fail to take advantage of the luck because we are too busy planning for something that is not supposed to be ours. its like you are dying to be with someone else,,, hurting other people in the process,, when the one that you keep on hurting is the one meant for you. haiz..... i guess sometimes you really have to let go of the wheel because taking conrtol over it might not be the best thing to do... but for me, sometimes i think i have to take hold of the wheel, ive been too busy riding and never really bothered to take control...this didnt take me anywhere either... actually is took me to another longer route to finding what i really wanted, i dreamed of...but i'm getting there, i'm starting to take control of the wheel to learn how to manage my own destinations that i dont end up taking another longer, bumpier route...

some people may think that watching "chick flicks" is a non sense, but somethimes movies like this makes you realize that there is something missing or too much going on in our life that we have to take care of... it might be good or bad but whatever it is we must be able to appreciate it, learn from it and best of all acknowledge it as a milestone in our own lives.....

Thursday, March 23, 2006

vanity strikes in

ive been wanting to get a webcam a long time ago but i really didnt try to get one...the yesterday i was walking in Sm North EDSA's Cyberzone i saw this cute cam and asked how much was it...the girl told me that it was only P1000 so i decided to get it right away...when i got home last night i tried it and took shots of myself...the quality was good for its price...i was really excited about it until my friend told me that it only costs P850 @ PC Express! geez! and all the fun was gone! lolz...but since i already got it i just played with it and took some pics...

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pa cute! eeeew!! hahaha!

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stressed but still smiling...

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reading my blog....

Wednesday, March 22, 2006


i am so amazed on how fast time flies by.. i went to the vet with Cooper for his third shot..too bad the vet wasnt there so i just took him home and combed his hair...i remembered the first time i saw him,, i fell in love with him right away! and now he's so big and so full of energy! the other day, i went to market market to get some stuff... and i saw this really really cute jersey.. so i got one for him. i think he liked it! i am really glad that i have him with me.. he takes all my sadness away... soon i'm going to get another puppy, this time a girl so cooper would have a
playmate hahaha! oh well... here he is!

cooper's first day at home...

he's getting bigger and cuddlier...

a big boy with a green ribbon...

this is the reason why he keeps getting fat...

with me...




Monday, March 20, 2006

Lakers Fan....

i got cooper this really really cute jersey! lakers #8 Kobe Bryant...its soooooo cute! i was walking around the mall when i saw the jersey! i dindt have any second thoughts about it...i imagined cooper wearing it so i got it right away....

isn't he adorable...

he's the future bball star! hehe! Air Bud 8 :D

i am really glad i got him as a christmas gift from my dad...he really makes me feel really really special, he's so happy when he sees me when i get home...he takes all my stress and my sadness away, there are times that when i get home and i'm really tired when i see him i get energetic again and i end up playing with him for another hour or so....thanks tatay! muah!

Sunday, March 19, 2006

really bad

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hihihih....i found this in one of the sites where you can choose phrases or words with glitter...i just found it to be funny... well, i guess i was just trying to find something that would make me smile... and everyday i see things that touch my heart and make me feel that i am indeed lucky to be like this... i know people have thier own problems, i guess my problem is myself so i dont really need to look for it in other places. accepting that the major problem is me, elevates my emotional strength in a higher level. being emotionally strong is not really one of my main focus in life, but as i encounter problems i feel that i should develop my emotional strength so that when time comes i will be able to handle problems more difficult than what i am experiencing right now...things that i am experiencing right now sum up my whole a way i am thankful that after this experiences i am still continuing to live my life to the most ... :)


its already 4:20 in the morning and i'm still awake... i got so frustrated with my blog so i spent the entire evening trying to fix it,,, and now its finished! yipee! this is one thing that keeps my mind out of "those things" in a way, i am satisfied... i was able to accomplish lotsa stuff today,,, i fixed the skirt that i was dying to cut a long time ago... i played with this shirt that i got a long time ago and designed it with beads and the works... :D actually for the first time in weeks, i can sa that i was genuinely happy :) this is the start... i'm learning... i'm strrrrongerrr!

Saturday, March 18, 2006


i am always the bride...but when can i really be "THE BRIDE"? i dont know when, i dont even know if i'll be able to get married soon...the way things are going on with my life i dont think i'll get settled down soon... i'm not in a hurry, its just that it would be really lovely to be able to walk down the aisle ( i know i'm good at this since i have worn lotsa bridal gowns already...but ofcourse the church aisle is different than the ramp that im used to..hehe) but anyways, yeah it would be such a wonderful thing to be able to spend your life with somebody...have your own kids and be a mom.... awwww! haiz... oh well, i got this picture this afternoon and i was so excited to write about it... i even surfed jewelry to go with it...haiz... as if! oh well, i guess i'd have to wait a long long time for my prince charming to come and rescue me from this cruel world...

Friday, March 17, 2006 sad....

i dont know why i'm still feeling like this...i've been trying to keep myself really really busy for the past week...but i still feel this...but im mighty glad that this is going to end real soon... sooner that i thought it would be... but i'm glad. i want to be free... to really be free...

Wednesday, March 15, 2006


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another shoot..with my friends gianina (photographer) and jliz (designer)...i love how nina manipulated the colors in this picture...i wish it was just that easy to manipulate the colors of our own lives... to erase the mistakes that you have done in the past and work on it again to make things better...easier... lovelier...

Monday, March 13, 2006


its still early... i want to sleep... i want to feel fresh... i've been beeeeeezy this past week...studying (really?)...programming ( nerd in the making) ...i WANT a massage... No.. i want "someone" to give me a massage (oooooooooh!) ...i want to be pampered.... i feel like i've been really really hardworking these days and i need a break!

Sunday, March 12, 2006

dying inside...

what a day! i'm soo sooo tired...i took my mom to baclaran and helped her buy lotsa stuff for bora... then we went to uniwide and to sm to buy some more stuff... even though i had a really really busy day, i still cant get it out of my mind... grrr! i hate this! i'd rather be swimming across the bermuda triangle than friggin feelin like this! haiz to the max! well i just cant get over this thingy... i dont know... but i'm really really depressed! sniff sniff...well its my fault, i really cant do anything much now... i guess i just have to focus on finishing my studies so i can leave this country and live somewhere else where i really belong... i cant stay here in the philippines, unles.... nah! tsk... ive been drinking for the past few days, still the horse can't relieve the pain...argh! i want to break free!! i even went to visit my mamah's bf in uplb and went swimming in the hot springs hoping that the warm relaxing water would help me get my mind off him... even getting a 98 in our magic sing didnt even help... tsk... i want to end this... i want to stop... i want to sleep... goodnight and goodbye.

Saturday, March 11, 2006



OVERVIEW: In matters of the heart, you've always preferred the chase to the
capture. In fact, hard as it might be to believe, once the courtship dance
is over -- especially if it doesn't last long enough or prove interesting
enough -- you've actually been known to lose interest entirely. You won't
have that problem this year though. From early January through early March,
someone who absolutely demands your respect will attract a healthy portion
of your attention. Suddenly, you'll be willing to suspend all rules, clean
up your act and go out of your way to prove how honorable your intentions
are -- just to ensure that you end up with the pleasure of their long-term

>>>>> yeah so true... i'm not really into horoscopes... actually i dont believe in what these things say... but now i'm just so desperate... i think im going crazy... sometimes when i read my horoscope, i cant help but wonder how these things can be quite inrtiguing... its almost as if its really happening... oh well, here goes... i guess i can relate to the first line... the first thing that it happened to me, i really lost focus and i wanted to breakdown,,, but then i realized that i really didnt want him, i loved somebody else... so why bother running after him when i can just pour all my love to the person i really wanted to be with. but then something came up which caused another problem. this time i really hated myself.. not just for acting really bad but because i allowed something that is not really meant to be... and in the course of my actions i crushed so many hearts including my own... now i'm trying to pick myself up... fix everything that i need to fix and start living on my own... for how many years i havent been able to stand on my two feet.. theres always somebody who helps me up... i'm excited and scared at the same time but i want to do this... i want to be me... so that in the future when i decide to settle down... i will have the strength to take care of my own family...

Love won't be your only focus this year, however. You may need to make a
major decision regarding your job, thanks to two eclipses, classic
harbingers of change. The first, in mid-March, will get the show on the
road and probably make you restless enough to start looking for other
options. By the time the second eclipse arrives in late September, you'll
be more than ready to clear out your desk. Giving two weeks notice may not
be first and foremost on your mind, especially if a better offer is already
waiting impatiently in the wings. Just be sure your next step is set in
stone before you burn any bridges.

>>>> as early as now, i'm facing different situations where i have to decide... sometimes i get so weak and i just want to give up... but i know i cant do that... i still have alots of things to accomplish and i want to make my loved ones happy. i need to make myself happy also coz if this feeling continues as is, i'm afraid i will have to so soon... i might not be able to take it anymore... all the frustrations, lonliness and the pain that continues to grow inside me...

Burning bridges will come easily to you by December, however, and you won't
have to worry about any repercussions either. By New Year's Day 2007,
you'll be amazed at how many great big changes you've made, possibly even
including a long-distance move. Regardless of where you end up -- or with
whom -- rest assured that this will be a year to remember and that
everything will be just fine in the end. So don't worry if things aren't
completely fine right now. All that means is that you're not at the end of
this process just yet. Relax and do what feels right. You're reinventing
yourself, and if you're smart, you'll allow yourself to enjoy the journey
-- and to take your sweet time.

>>> i just hope that i will be able to get through this journey alive... with this sadness that im feeling ill never know if i can still continue... if i can still hold on...

Friday, March 10, 2006

A sad sad song...

my cousins like to search for lyrics of thier favorite songs...i found this in one of thier files and i felt as if it was trying to tell me something....haiz...when you are sad you tend to notice things that didnt mean anything to you before. when you miss someone it seems that everything around you points to that particular person. i dont really want to write about sad things but i cant help it. i want to write this down so ill remember this particualr moment in my life when i felt really, really, really sad. maybe soon i will find happiness, maybe not...i'll never know...i can never be sure if i'm going to be as happy as i was before. i'm so confused...i thought i was happy, but now i'm starting to think if everything was worth fighting for, was worth living for...sometimes we realize things that are already lost...maybe its too late, but i really hope its not...well i dedicate this song to somebody who i love and might have lost.

If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young
And we both know they'll take us
Where we want to go
(Chorus 1)
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you
(Chorus 2)
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love
(Chorus 3)
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you
If the road ahead is not so easy,
Our love will lead the way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are
So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too

Thursday, March 09, 2006

life in mono

look at is so simple...its like i wanted to stay there... i want to get away from it all... from everything thats hurting me and from people who get hurt because of me... i just want a simple life, i want to be free... away from those who would always want to take you down.. from those people whose ultimate goal in life is to make you feel miserable forever... i hate them... i hate me... i hate *TOOT*... i am drowning in an ocean full of lies and deceit... suddenly i dont know how to swim... i keep on drowning... i need someone to help me... fast... :(

Wednesday, March 08, 2006


another test....i want to see how people percieve me and my me answer this


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i am soooo proud of my baby! he's getting bigger and bigger now....i took this pic after giving him a bath and blow drying his hair. he's just so adorable!

Tuesday, March 07, 2006


i want to know what you guys think of me.... pls click on the link


(known to self and others)


Blind Spot

(known only to others)

bold, caring, proud, responsive


(known only to self)

adaptable, clever, ingenious, kind, spontaneous


(known to nobody)

able, accepting, brave, calm, cheerful, complex, confident, dependable, dignified, energetic, extroverted, giving, happy, helpful, idealistic, independent, intelligent, introverted, knowledgeable, logical, loving, mature, modest, nervous, observant, organised, patient, powerful, quiet, reflective, relaxed, religious, searching, self-assertive, self-conscious, sensible, sentimental, shy, silly, sympathetic, tense, trustworthy, warm, wise, witty

Dominant Traits

100% of people think that Paui is bold
100% of people think that Paui is caring
100% of people agree that Paui is friendly
100% of people think that Paui is proud
100% of people think that Paui is responsive

All Percentages

able (0%) accepting (0%) adaptable (0%) bold (100%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (100%) cheerful (0%) clever (0%) complex (0%) confident (0%) dependable (0%) dignified (0%) energetic (0%) extroverted (0%) friendly (100%) giving (0%) happy (0%) helpful (0%) idealistic (0%) independent (0%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (0%) introverted (0%) kind (0%) knowledgeable (0%) logical (0%) loving (0%) mature (0%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (0%) organised (0%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (100%) quiet (0%) reflective (0%) relaxed (0%) religious (0%) responsive (100%) searching (0%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (0%) sentimental (0%) shy (0%) silly (0%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (0%) warm (0%) wise (0%) witty (0%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 8.3.2006, using data from 1 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view Paui's full data.


Kotts - Friday, April 3, 2009

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