Saturday, December 30, 2006

the Wheel of Fortune

Hi paui

What goes up must come down - we all know and understand
this, yet when we are down, feeling low or unhappy, it can
be so hard to believe life will ever get better!


Sometimes we experience good luck and good fortune
unexpectedly, and when we do, oh how joyful and exciting it
is! Getting a phone call out of the blue from the person
you’ve fancied for ages asking you out on a date, winning
some money, getting an unexpected promotion and pay rise at
work, friends and family throwing you a surprise party –
all these experiences or surprises make us feel on top of
the world.

Conversely, when you hear through a friend that your lover
is seeing someone else, your bank surprisingly turns down
your request for a loan, your boss unexpectedly announces
you’re going to be laid off or you lose a loved one – these
experiences and shocks can leave us emotionally devastated,
feeling as though the world is somehow against us.

The Wheel of Fortune represents such unexpected turns of
fate and fortune. Sometimes the wheel will turn in your
favor and bring unexpected good luck and fortune, sometimes
it will turn against you and you will experience bad luck
and misfortune. However, the wheel suggests that these
turns of fortune are beyond your control, they are part of
the eternal movement and cycle of life.

When the Wheel of Fortune appears in your readings you can
expect an unexpected change in your fortune … so if you
have been experiencing a run of bad luck or misfortune and
the Wheel of Fortune lays in your near future, then the
cards are suggesting that it won’t be long before fate will
come into play and your luck will start to change.
Conversely, in the situation where the Wheel of Fortune is
ahead and things have been going great for you up to now,
read it as a warning that something unexpected may throw a
spanner in the works and bring a challenging time.

The appearance of this card in answer to a question about
what you should do about something or someone, can suggest
that, whatever you do, fate will determine the outcome.
However, if surrounding cards are negative, it could be a
warning that making the wrong choice could backfire on you.

Life has its ups and downs, and understanding and accepting
this helps us to hold a more realistic view of life itself.
Remember that the wheel turns up, just as surely as it
turns down ... it’s just the eternal and constant rhythm and
cycle of life.

Love and Joy,

>>>> for the past weeks i've been experiencing "not-so-good" stuff in my life.. well i guess this might be a sign that somehow, things will be better... (i hope so..) i'm better now, better than i was 2 weeks ago... i just hope that things will get better and that soon ill be over... thanks to my friends who are always there for me, ready to rescue me whenever i feel like i'm drowning... i hope that this year will be better than last year(not that i'm saying last year was not good... in fact last year was one of the most wonderful years of my life...) ...i've learned lotsa stuff that i know i can use in order to be a better person...goodluck to me!

Friday, December 29, 2006

bite me!

there are times in our lives that we become vulnerable... we seek the comfort of other people who we think is much stronger and who you trust yourself with... its true when they say that you shouldnt judge a book by its cover, you can never be really sure who to trust and who to be careful of...

when were vulnerable, its easy for people to penetrate our barriers and reach our weaknesses. sometimes they are careful but most of the time people take advantage... they use you weakness against to so that you can fall into thier traps...

whats sad about this is that you're already so low... and people take advantage of you that you'll end up getting more hurt and used... i know i shouldnt really be trusting people that easily.... i should really be more careful... specially now that i am in my weakest point.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

this never happened before

This Never Happened Before Lyrics

i'm very sure
this never happened to me before
i met you and now i'm sure
this never happened before

now i see
this is the way it's supposed to be
i met you and now i see
this is the way it should be

this is the way it should be for lovers
they shouldn't go it alone
it's not so good when you're on your own

so come to me
now we can be what we wanna be
i love you and now i see
this is the way it should be

this is the way it should be

this is the way it should be for lovers
they shouldn't go it alone
it's not so good when you're on your own

i'm very sure
this never happened to me before
i met you and now i'm sure
this never happened before (this never happened before)
this never happened before (this never happened)
this never happened before (this never happened before)

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

good ol' self!

this is probably the worst christmas of my entire life... ive been such a fool! well i just wanted to blog this because when i'm over everything, i want to read this particular blog and laugh at myself for being the most stupid person in this whole wide world!

ive been pretty much stupid a lot of times already but never in my life i felt this stupid! gawd! most of the times i rely on the goodness of other people, but boyyyyyyy you can never really judge a person by his cover! most of the goodness that you see in these people are just skin deep! oh well, what can i do? life is so full of bumps and black holes.

as much as i would want to regret everything that happened, i cant! somehow those experiences made me stronger and wiser (i guess).. i just dont want to fall into the same trap.. in a way, i am much wiser than before...than last year... yes, there is still some bitterness left inside me but pretty much dont want to dwell on that because i dont want to ruin the coming year. i dont want it to come to a bad start. i just want to live again... to be normal and to be happy.

here's the happy issue again... i dont want people to think that i'm not happy, i am actually! there's just certain aspects in my life right now that doesnt make me happy. but really, generally i am happy! i have lots of friends that are always there for me, i have dogs who will always be happy to see me, we have a house in boracay where i could always go to for refuge, relaxation and some pretty darn good time (hehehe...) , i have a nice job with a good salary, i travel a lot, i am SINGLE! and best of all god loves me! (i love you too!)

now..... i'm back to my good ol' self!

Tuesday, December 26, 2006


Hi paui

Our divine feminine, the goddess within ... we all have the
ability to know her, whether you’re male or female, this
‘intuition’ or ‘psychic awareness’ within is omnipresent, a
‘universal knowing’ if you like.


When was the last time you went against your intuition or
gut feelings just to hear yourself say ‘I knew I shouldn’t
have done that, I somehow knew it wouldn’t work out’? >>> OH MY GOSHHH!

This gut instinct, intuition or 6th sense, whatever you
want to call it, is our spirit, our subconscious or what I
like to call our ‘authentic’ self speaking to us. >>>>> haiz! i should have listened

The High Priestess card represents this very intuitive
guide we all have within ourselves, and we can always call
upon her provided we have the courage to listen to her.

So often we take what appears to be the easy option, or we
remain in our comfort zone, only to later realize the
illusion. For example, have you ever stayed in an abusive
or unfulfilling relationship, despite your ‘intuition’
telling you that you are unhappy and should leave, just to
avoid being on your own? >> hmmmmmmm???

Have you remained in a dead end job that brings no
satisfaction and a poor income, despite your ‘intuition’
telling you that you could do so much better for yourself
if you could find the courage to leave?

Fear of the unknown, fear of rejection and fear of
loneliness are, for me, the three greatest reasons why we
choose to be deaf or ignorant to our intuitive guide, and
wind up staying in relationships, jobs and situations that
we are far from happy with.

When this magical and enigmatic card appears in your
reading, ask yourself ‘what is the secret to finding the
happiness I seek?’
For The High Priestess is the keeper of
secrets, your secrets, and the greatest irony is that you
are the only one who can know the secrets she has to share
with you.

You must develop the ability to silence the noise of your
conscious fears, and allow your mind to be still and silent
enough for your intuitive guide or High Priestess to
communicate with you. Thus she will reveal the secret to
your own happiness.

The more you learn to trust your intuitive guide, the more
aligned you will become with your ‘true’ desires and your
‘true’ self. For example, if the quiet voice in your head
is telling you that starting an affair with your boss is
not a good idea, it may be wise to listen to it!

If that voice grows ever louder and more persistent about
something you are doing or considering, see it as your own
High Priestess imploring you to listen ... you need to pay

So, when The High Priestess appears in your readings, it’s
time to ask yourself how you really feel and think about
the issue or situation? Your conscious self must learn to
trust your intuitive self.
>>>>> i really should! tsk!

Love and Joy,

Sunday, December 17, 2006


Hi paui

What would mean the world to you?

Perhaps having a wonderful, rewarding, loving relationship?
Achieving financial success and recognition in your work?
Having a child you have longed for?


Whatever your dreams or ambitions, The World card can
herald the arrival of your heart’s desire - a time of
completion and fulfillment.

This is an especially wonderful card to have as an outcome
card, if preceded by other positive cards.

It is a card of triumph, recognition for all your hard work
and effort, or reward after a period of struggle and

Respect and recognition is associated with the appearance
of this card, as it suggests that many people around you,
feel you deserve the happiness and joy the card represents.

The World card can also mean that the world is your oyster,
so it often represents travel, or suggests you broaden your
horizons if you are to acquire your heart’s desire.

This is such a positive card, that even the negative
aspect, normally indicated by preceded cards being less
positive or cards of challenge, simply means a period of
delay before the success you desire becomes manifest.

Are you living in the life you want, or do you desire to
step out into the ‘big wide world’ and seek adventure? >>>> yes yes yes!

The World IS your oyster, so when you see this card in your
readings, remember to keep your heart and mind open to
greater possibilities. >>> super!

Love and Joy,

Friday, December 15, 2006

the Moon

Hi paui

It has long been said that the full Moon has a powerful
effect on our emotional state, creating tides of
emotions within us.


When we experience such turbulent emotions, it is difficult
to believe that we could ever feel harmony and peace within
ourselves again.

Highly charged feelings cause havoc in our lives, and when
The Moon appears in your readings, you can be sure there are
issues in your life that are causing confusion and mixed

When this card appears, it is suggesting you take a step
back and view your situation from a different perspective
and with a calmer logic.

However, The Moon does represent powerful feelings and it
isn’t always easy to gain clarity: we often can’t ‘see the
wood for the trees’. The path to clarity and understanding
is a challenging one, yet despite the emotional wrenches
you may feel, it is right for you.

For example, if you are in a situation where you need to
let go of a lover or partner for whatever reason, but
emotionally cannot summon up the courage to do so, even
though you know it’s the right thing to do, trust that the
new path you seek is right for you.

Often when a decision is very difficult and causes strong
emotional resistance within us, we allow our weaker nature
to rule. However, in many of these situations it is a brave
heart and clear mind that help us see through the fog of
unruly emotion and step onto our true path.

The Moon not only represents illusion caused by powerful
emotions, but also illusion or trickery created by other
people’s lies or misleading behavior. Therefore, when The
Moon appears in a reading, it’s a good idea to question
your motives and those of people close to you, and it is
best to refrain from making firm decisions until you know
and feel a sense of certainty about your choices.

The wan light of The Moon does in some way shed light upon
the right path for us, but because we cannot see clearly
in dim light we doubt ourselves and hold back from taking
the steps forward.

The Moon may suggest that your avoidance to take action or
make a tough decision about a certain situation is simply
due to fear of loss. Fear has much to do with The Moon, and
courage is always needed to conquer fear, so take your time
when The Moon appears in your readings and search for your
inner courage. With patience you will find the clarity you

Love and Joy,

Thursday, December 07, 2006

red red wine...

yeah... i am having a hard time here... work is soooo exhausting... but then again nothing can beat red wine after work... ive been drinkning every night since i got here... its okay... i need it to relax, to relieve the stress and to be able to sleep at night...

just yesterday there was a friction between my co models and the other chinese people who were working with us.. that was my first workers quarrel. heheeh! its was a different experience seeing girls who dont actually understand each other fighting... haiz... everyday people get more and more complicated and things heat up as work gets longer... well thats a part of the job they say...

i just finished talking to my mom... she was very happy to hear my voice and to see me on the webcam... we talked about my stay here, my job and the dogs (ooooh i miss them) she told me that she missed me so much (and i do miss her too....) i was also able to chat with other people... i know i am supposed to be happy... but no... it made me really sad. good thing i'm far away and i have no choice but to move on and do what i am supposed to do here... ill just have to resort to red wine when i get home...

soon i'll be back in manila... i think its going to be harder once i'm back. i'm going to apply for another job in duabi and hopefully i'll be able to get in... that is going to be another challenge for me, another new life and another adventure... so far my adventure here is not yet finished...

til the next composition....

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

the Fool

Hi paui

The Fool represents a free spirit with a lust for life,
knowledge, and adventure, who has little fear of taking
risks. Does this sound like your card?


Innocence and naivety are associated with The Fool,
for the young have no fear of new experiences or change.

As you grow older you can lose that childish innocence and
enthusiasm, and can become fearful and cynical of change
and new experiences.

The mind of The Fool is always open, an empty vessel
eagerly waiting to be filled with new knowledge. Any
experience, pleasant or challenging, is life knowledge that
he accepts as part of his learning.

The Fool does not sit on the fence waiting for life to come
to him; he always takes the first step himself. The Fool
does not analyze all the possible risks of a new adventure;
he learns as he goes along.

The fearlessness and sheer enthusiasm associated with The
Fool makes for quite a maverick character, and often this
card can signify such a person, male or female, may step
into your life.

It is your attitude that influences the choices and
decisions you make, and often your mind is so full of doubt
and fear that you become closed-minded to the possibilities
of change.

When The Fool appears, ask yourself how open-minded you are
being at that moment in time, how enthusiastic are you
about life, and do you desire new experiences and
excitement but fear taking that first step?

Any journey starts with the first step, and motivating
yourself to take it is the hardest part. The Fool
encourages you to discover your inner child and harness
that youthful enthusiasm to help you on your way to a new
life and future.

A time to exercise caution is when The Fool comes up as the
first card in a reading for you. You may want to question
your motives or judgment, since as this is the first card,
it can indicate folly. Perhaps you are motivated for the
wrong reasons, so look before you leap.

You will have to deal with many twists and turns, paths and
crossroads on your life journey and The Fool can help as a
sign post when you need to take a new path.

Love and Joy,

yeah........... this is soooooo true. i dont actually believe in this kind of stuff but as i read on to her weekly readings i cant help but wonder how those cards or those readings relate to what is happening to me. golly! well i still dont believe it but i will let those cards guide me through my journey...

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

new life... new place

yeah... i've been in here in macau for 5 days now... work is very tiring but fun! good thing i'm with friends so i'm not really lonely here. its like i'm still in the philippines just doing shows. i'm having a blast here but my body is not... its so hard to adjust to the weather coz its so cold... i am sick but i'm generally okay... i used to have doubts before going here but now i think i am going to like it here. i still have 10 more days to go before i finally decide if i should stay of should i go... wish me luck....

new life... new place

yeah... i've been in here in macau for 5 days now... work is very tiring but fun! good thing i'm with friends so i'm not really lonely here. its like i'm still in the philippines just doing shows. i'm having a blast here but my body is not... its so hard to adjust to the weather coz its so cold... i am sick but i'm generally okay... i used to have doubts before going here but now i think i am going to like it here. i still have 10 more days to go before i finally decide if i should stay of should i go... wish me luck....


Kotts - Friday, April 3, 2009

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