Wednesday, October 18, 2006

done....

it has been done! yeah... i burned all of it (well except the plastics hehehe... i didnt want to contribute to the ozone depletion. ) the heat on my face felt so good... but something inside was a little bit sad, coz for 8 years i have kept those things in memory of our good times together...but what the heck those memories will always be in my heart and besides he's not the one i would like to grow old with anymore so why bother keeping those things right? yay! anyways, the entire afternoon i was just here at home fixing those stuff... i read a lot of letters and i cant help but cry... i am the biggest loser of all time... how could i be so blind?! so stupid!?! and so heartless... i have this collection of letters in a notebook... it was more of a mini book where raimond and i would write letters (actually there was three) i read all of it this afternoon and i cant help but cry... i remembered why i fell inlove with that guy i felt how much he loved me, i realized how stupid i was hurting him... but its all too late now... i can never ever bring all that back and its what hurts me the most........

done....

it has been done! yeah... i burned all of it (well except the plastics hehehe... i didnt want to contribute to the ozone depletion. ) the heat on my face felt so good... but something inside was a little bit sad, coz for 8 years i have kept those things in memory of our good times together...but what the heck those memories will always be in my heart and besides he's not the one i would like to grow old with anymore so why bother keeping those things right? yay! anyways, the entire afternoon i was just here at home fixing those stuff... i read a lot of letters and i cant help but cry... i am the biggest loser of all time... how could i be so blind?! so stupid!?! and so heartless... i have this collection of letters in a notebook... it was more of a mini book where raimond and i would write letters (actually there was three) i read all of it this afternoon and i cant help but cry... i remembered why i fell inlove with that guy i felt how much he loved me, i realized how stupid i was hurting him... but its all too late now... i can never ever bring all that back and its what hurts me the most........

a walk down memory lane...

i so wanted to do this a long time ago... and now that i had the time i did it... i started with my memory box... this box contained stuff which i kept while i was still with mark... it contained letters, pictures, bus tickets, dried roses, id pins and even phonecards... everything that meant to me during those times... not that it doesnt mean anything to me now but i dont think i still need to keep those things anymore... we have our own seperate lives and i am happy that he already found the person that he could spend his life with... so there... off to the second box, it is the box where i keep all my letters and stuff from raimond... i read the letters but most of the letters were from me...i remember he gave it to so i could keep it... i called him to ask what he wanted to do with those letters,i asked if he wanted to throw it away or keep it... he didnt know what to say so i just told him that i would compile everything and just give it back to him... then he will be the one to decide whether he would want to keep it or throw it all away... throwing away all these things does not mean that i am throwing away all the memories that i had with these people, they know that they will always be a part of me and that those memories will always remain in a special place in my heart...

here are some of the things that will just remain in pictures...
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marvins, dumdums, tape, wwjd's, etc.....
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dried roses... 9 years na to :D fonkards... dami!

respect

i know i have been a really really bad person... i dont deserve to be trusted anymore but i think i still deserve some kind of respect. i dont think i deserve to be treated like this... i know i am stupid but i dont deserve to be filled up with bulls*!&# ... why am i putting up with this? i dont understand why i am trying my best to make it work? when i know that whatever i do i will be treated like trash... is it still about love? or am i just being plain stupid again? i dont need this crap and i dont have to put up with it anymore... just now after putting down the phone i feel so stupid and used and so abused... i have never ever felt like this before... but yeah i have to understand... i have to forgive the person who did this to me... after all i was the one who made the mistakes... ive learned my lesson... i have to be more firm now... i have to stop crying and start living...again.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

i miss blogging

yeah i really do... a lot has happened since i last blogged. i was a very good girl. i actually made my parents very happy... i too was really really happy! i graduated already! i dont know if i was just emotional of something but i really felt like crying when i went up the stage to make my graduation official... it was the first time that my dad hugged me with his two arms... it felt really good haiz... thank you LORD! i love you!

will post pics soon :)

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

THE EMPRESS

Hi paui

Fruitful abundance, fertility and motherhood, emotional
support, security and joy, and prosperity makes this one of
my favorite cards in the Tarot deck.

THIS WEEK'S CARD: THE EMPRESS

The Empress is a card that signifies reassurance and love
reflecting the maternal aspects of the card. When she
appears in your reading, The Empress may signify your
desire to be a mother or the possibility of you being one
(if you’re female!), or the desire for the kind of love a
mother gives and receives.

She is a good omen if you are considering starting a family
or having more children. She can also signify the need to
focus on your role as a mother or your relationship with
your own mother or mother figure.

We all like to be loved and cared for and The Empress
signifies the comforting feeling and reward one receives
for loving and caring for those that are dear to you. As
an outcome, she is a sign that abundance and well-being is
on its way and that everything will turn out alright for
you.

Wherever she appears in a reading, think of the kindly
encouragement or loving support a mother gives to her
child, and know that someone in your life is there for
you. This may not always be your mother; it could be
another female relative, friend or even associate who will
show her love and compassion when you most need it.

The Empress also represents creativity and art, so when she
appears in a reading she can also be a good omen for you to
encourage any creative or artistic talents you have as this
may lead to future material and financial abundance.

She is the smiling face of encouragement and the warm
embrace of comfort, so whatever you may be considering when
The Empress appears, take it that you will receive the
support and help you require.

If The Empress appears in a reading surrounded by negative
cards, it may be that a female in your life is behaving in
an overbearing manner and it is important that you do not
allow her to bully you.

The Empress is multi-dimensional. She can represent your
desires and needs as a woman, she can represent other women
in your life or she can simply represent birth and
creativity. So when the card appears in a reading, take the
surrounding cards into account and also try to understand
it in relation to the particular question you have asked.

Love and Joy,
Alison

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

dreams

In dreams,
the perfect love
has a smile,
a voice, a touch
that seem meant just
for you.
In dreams,
the perfect love
is tender and giving,
always knowing just what to say
to make you feel wanted,
just what to do
to make you feel loved....
In dreams, the perfect love
is that one person
with whom you can let go
and be yourself,
the one who makes you feel
completely alive
just by being near.

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Kotts
Kotts
pquinto.sulit.com.ph - Friday, April 3, 2009

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